frustrations

• people are going home and i want to go home
• before i dropped my phone in the toilet and almost flushed it down the abyss i was talking to the Brother and we had the usual fight where he accused me of being condescending and i attacked him of not giving a shit about half of society and the child is too cool for facebook so i cannot tell him that i did not mean it but was just tired and stressed and cruel and this guilt is going to give me an ulcer
• estela is coming to london this week but i still have finals that i don’t care about and i just want to take estela too all the nice bridges and quiet cafes and drink mulled wine in a park and talk about impending adulthood and beyonce and disappointing dates and making cool things but I have to write an essay about BRITISH IMPERIALISM (of the why it failed persuasion & not the why it was the worst thing to happen in recent history persuasion) like reading about this doesn’t casually make my insides crawl at how terrible world leaders were/are and i am too done
• looking at flights to claremont and being emotionally unprepared because my favorite people are about to graduate and leave forever and i will be the jaded af senior and i am too young for the job search hustle and bad things happen on campus and there will be new firstyears and firstyears become more optimistic and ambitious and terrifying by the year
• ok actually going to leave internet for a while bye everyone~~