04: unedited and delayed reflections

Hello Interweb world! I am pathetic for not posting on this blog in the past month, although I really, really saw myself posting frequently during this Spring semester abroad. I apologize. I honestly have no excuses. I could have just designated time to sit down and really think about what to write, and write, but  alas – I didn’t.

(I usually get really self-conscious about the organization of my written thoughts, but I’m just going to dump everything on this page – dump all my cider/wine infused thoughts after my first weekend spent outside of Budapest // I know no one is reading this, so who really cares?)

I’ve been in Budapest for (almost) 2 months!! You know how I know? (Apart from opening calendar.google.com and checking the date) It’s cause I have to look at that date on my monthly public transportation card and I’m forced to be aware of it’s expiration date, which is March 18, 2016 in case you were wondering. It’s coming up, which means in 3 days, I have to fumble with the touchscreen on one of those purple public transportation ticket machines to get another ticket that’ll expire on April 18. And then May 18. …..

Time is going by too quickly. I really don’t want to leave Budapest at the end of May. And if I really reflect on this resistance, it’s because of the people I’ve met here. Which people, you may inquire? Well, I do love people so I suppose I’ll elaborate.

(Some of) The people at AIT: I’m extremely lucky to have awesome companions on this program. It’s funny, because I’m enrolled in this computer science program as a math major, and still somehow avoided taking any coding classes this semester. If you want to know my schedule:

Ah, sorry I got distracted. I’ve met awesome people on this program!!! Wow, even right now, in front of me is Ruth, the awesome girl from Grinnell who I met too late, Nhu who’s cooking us fried rice, and Dalia (who I met through Safae, my awesome roommate)). In addition, there’s Annie, Marina, Zoe, Anh, Clara (of course),… but the point is, it’s so amazing to me that we can all hang out with each other, go to each others’ apartments, cook with each other, be open with each other, and not be super in your face about entrepreneurship/start-up-y things. I’ve made awesome memories with these people and I never would have met them if it hadn’t been for this program in Hungary.

(Pisti!!!!! & Bende, lol) My time in Hungary has been super precious because of Pisti. I’m not going to go into too much detail, because it would be too distracting. But we went to Gyor, Prague, and Vienna this past weekend and it was awesome.

The biggest triggers of my reflection have been having visitors. So Melis came over a couple of weeks ago, and I had to really think about what I wanted to show her in Budapest. And I had been in Budapest < 1 month, so I frantically flipped through my short stack of Budapest memories and realized I hadn’t been doing all the “touristy” things in Budapest / iconic / glamorous things. And following this panic, I came to the conclusion that what matters to me the most are people. I really don’t give a shit about fancy restaurants, beautiful pictures (yeah I actually don’t really take pictures anymore because I’m vlogging most of the time), landscapes…. well, landscapes are awesome and our Earth is beautiful, but I do get some sort of “high” from being around people.

And then Emma and Kristen came. And then that began my categorization of travellers: there’s:

1. The Touristy/Insta Traveller.
2. The “I want to know how a REAL (insert location here) lives”
3. The Foodie.
4. The Person Who Researches the Area and Finds a Legit Reason For Visiting The Place (apart from the usual)
5. The Cafe / Chill Traveller. (Me)
6. Other (because I haven’t solidified by categories yet)

And I realized that I HATE being that person who just goes to a city for a day with a checklist, but on the other hand, it’s impossible to truly get to know a city and it’s people unless you’re there for a couple of weeks. So I think I have to resort to the touristy shit (with the awareness that I am doing this touristy shit), or not travel at all.

 

I’m in traveller purgatory.

Sigh. I’ve lost my train of thought. I just want to say – I love Budapest, the people I’ve met here, the food (lol I’ve never loved Pisti – I mean pizza – this much), and PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. The 4-6 is my lifeline. I live off of Jászai mari ter. Hit me up.

Okay, peace. Also watch my vlogs. https://youtu.be/DCyqfJl-fLY

I’ve been drinking some alcoholz

03: sage advice from a local Hungarian

Don’t put your college on your tinder bio. Because people will Google your college, see how much your tuition is, and then kidnap you and hold you for ransom.

Also, here’s my second week: Week 2 in Budapest

02: first week done

I love Budapest. I’ve met really awesome people here so far. The language is f**king hard, though. Everyone tells me that it’s not worth it to learn it.

Here’s a vlog of my first week:

Week 1 in Budapest

01: initial observations

1. Public transportation
   • I love public transportation. I’m still largely confused by all the lines and trams and buses and stops (especially because everything’s in Hungarian), but everything is so accessible, quick, reliable, and cheap. ahem: 1 month of unlimited use of any public transportation is ~$13 with a student ID. 
   • the escalators that take you down to the metro (subway) are SO STEEP AND LONG. I actually get really scared riding these and because I already frequently have nightmares about falling off roads that are perpendicular to the ground, I’m developing a metro-escalator-phobia.

   • 

     tunnel of death. picture taken from above near the Astoria stop.

2. Exchange rate
   • $1 ~= 289 forints. So many pastry things, coffee drinks, etc are dirt cheap…basically everything is much cheaper. Every time I buy something, I’m really not spending that much money, but the simple act of making a purchase makes me feel like I’m draining my wallet when I’m actually not…
     • Note to self: make a weekly budget and keep a log of your purchases. please.
   • I was told not to spend more than 400 forints on a cappuccino. Any more and it’s too expensive. Today I had one for 185 forints (you do the math).
3. Language
   • had my first language class today, and can’t believe how difficult Hungarian is. Not sure how much I want to commit myself to learning the language well because I might end up disappointing myself. I’m the type of person who wants to do a lot of things, and dreams about doing a lot of things, so I have to counter the potential disillusionment by setting my expectations really low.
   • most people speak English here, and it’s pretty easy to get by in the city without knowing any Hungarian. Consequently, I might turn into one of those obnoxious Americans taking up space in Hungary and eeee I don’t want to do that.

Before I post something I’ll regret,

Yenny

00: intro

(I can’t sleep // jet lag is real // insomnia is the same regardless of what land mass you’re on)

me on the bridge with Parliament in the background – ps it’s really f**king cold.

After almost a day of traveling, I finally made it to Budapest. I’m pretty sure both my mom and Reka (AIT staff who picked us up from the Budapest airport) are bitter towards me for choosing the flight that included a 9 hour layover in Munich, and a final arrival time of 11:40 PM. I had impulsively booked the cheapest flight after a quick 2 minutes of comparing options. (Teehee)

It wasn’t until the last hour of traveling when I was finally able to place my ambiguous feelings about this whole study abroad thing. I have this weird problem in which anxious feelings don’t properly develop until the final hour before something big happens. Example: I’m never legitimately stressed out about an exam until the hour right before I take it (probably easy to ascertain the danger in this). Likewise, it wasn’t until I got on the final plane to Budapest when I started to realize:

1. I’ll be landing in Budapest in <1 hour
2. Budapest is in a different country
3. Hungary is in a different continent
4. Oh yeah, I just flew across the ocean
5. I’m not in the U.S. anymore
6. And won’t be until the end of May
7. Things will be different for the first time ever
8. I’m scared
9. I’m excited
10. I’m scared and excited!!!!!

For the past few weeks I was feeling a hazy mixture of sadness, loneliness, lugubriousness, etc.  For some context: I’m a sheltered, straight, East Asian person from a really nice suburb in San Diego where I have very few friends (I was that girl who was always with her [ex]-boyfriend) and then I decided to spend the next chapter of my life at a nice liberal arts school that’s an hour and a half drive away. I’m a baby. The highlight of my month-long winter break, mostly spent rotting away in San Diego, was staying with my best friend Mark in Sunnyvale for five days and seeing various Pomona friends there. Pomona has been the best second home I’ve ever had, and to echo Hong (senior at Pomona who is one of the greatest people ever), it wasn’t until junior year when I started reaaallly getting used to things. To leave that- to leave a community of people I am proud of, love, and want to fill my life with – KINDA SUCKS.

But now that I’m here, I’m ready to take this semester on as a challenge / opportunity to grow in ways that I never have before. The good type of anxiety is powerfully surging through my body for once. I’m looking forward to:

• trying tremendously not to be an ignorant American who desperately feels the need to be validated through shiny, plastic Instagram posts
• Being able to place my Asian/Chinese American identity in a more global context. (Already super aware of it / self-conscious)
• Legitimately dealing with loneliness in a healthy way /developing some sort of maturity and independence (thx Tom)
• SEEING NOTCLAREMONT IN NOT CLAREMONT
• learning some computer science (lol)
• messing up in many ways, but learning from the experiences.

By now it’s probably obvious that I’m insecure, scared, and have this intense urge to contextualize every point I have to make. (Probably comes from my insecurity // feeling I have to explain myself / justify any space that I take up)

Before I post something I’ll regret,

Yenny

test

this is a test. this is a test. wee. wee. weeeee.