Category: Kristen

Nostalgia

Nostalgia. Can you feel nostalgia for the present? For the things you have not even felt yet? For everything passes, and familiarity becomes the norm.

“‘Yes,’ said the girl. ‘Everything tastes of licorice. Especially all the things you’ve waited so long for, like absinthe.'”

–Hills Like White Elephants, Ernest Hemingway.

The Best Day of the Semester So Far

I haven’t felt truly productive in a long time. And feeling productive is one of my favorite states of being. So yesterday was, by default, the best day of the semester so far. It was also one of the oddest days; I felt such a wide range of feelings in such a short span of time that it felt like several days in one. I think I might be feeling such a strong need to record this particular day because I usually feel pretty ho-hum here. If my emotional state were displayed on those heartbeat monitors, I would appear to be dead–I just rarely feel any extreme emotions, it feels. Anyway, it would be nice to document a day in my life here.

I woke up at 6:50 a.m. It felt too early. I walked to an old Byzantine church, where I had to attend a liturgy for class. Spring is here, and the air felt crisp and clear. Also, Greeks don’t go to work until 10 or 11 a.m., so the streets were pretty empty. It was so nice to hear nothingness.

I entered the church. It was dimly lit, perfectly warm, and smelled of incense. I always feel so self-conscious in Orthodox churches. Every inch of the inside is covered in frescoes of saints, Jesus, Virgin Mary, martyrs–all of them so holy and stern. And the churches are so beautiful, ornate, and lavish. So I sat behind a shelf and hid myself from the priest.

After half an hour of chanting, the priest walked around swinging the censer, a special incense-burner, and blessed the people there–aka me and two others. He went up to the two others and swung smoke in their faces and I sat there panicking (I’m not really sure why), but he ignored me. I was relieved but also sad that he didn’t want to bless me.

Then I left and walked to the Acropolis Museum, my favorite museum (I guess that’s not saying much since I’ve only visited one other). I love it, though. I would like to get married here someday. It’s so peaceful and aesthetically pleasing. I looked at one statue–literally one statue–for half an hour, just circling around it over and over and looking at every little detail in the marble.

Then I had bus troubles. I got on the bus in the wrong direction. I finally got to the National Archaeological Museum and stared at another statue for half an hour, getting in the way of multiple British tour groups. I’m probably in a billion of their pictures now. All of them will get home, sharing their holiday pictures over crumpets or whatever and will realize that the same Asian girl is in everyone’s pictures. Sorry.

Then I had more bus troubles. I was standing at the bus stop, but all my buses kept driving past without a second look! I brushed it off, but half an hour later, I was starting to get angry. Then I realized my actual bus stop was 50 meters down the street. Who does that? And I have literally no excuse because I’ve waited at the correct bus stop twice in the past week.

I finally got back home, and I went to the gym and showered, and I felt radiant. I had pseudo-Mexican food for lunch from the cafeteria, had a very fun coffee date with a friend, and then decided to go shopping!

I was in such a great mood walking over. I had my earphones in and was listening to Real Estate’s The Bend, my favorite song from their 2014 album. I think I was literally smiling, I was in such a great mood. While texting, I almost bumped into an older man. Whatever. I keep going on my merry way, but he starts talking to me. Do you speak Greek? Where are you from? Blah blah. He seemed friendly, so I talked to him. Besides, we were walking the same way. But then he says, “Do you want to go get coffee with me?” Um. no. I literally have a coffee in my hand. Then, “That’s okay! We should just enjoy each other’s company.” I should have known. When I kept refusing, he looked at me like he literally could not comprehend why I would not want to go on a date with him. Um. Maybe cause you’re like 50 years old and creepy af? Men are literally the worst. I hate them.

Anyways, I stomped over to go shopping, but instead of shopping, I got into a fight with a friend. Ex-friend? Demoted friend? Anyways, it doesn’t matter at this point. I was just really, really angry after and still kind of am. But then I bought some cute shirts. Stress shopping is a thing.

I then went to church again. This time, the priest blessed me with olive oil. The entire congregation lined up, and he dipped this huge Q-tip into the blessed oil and put dots of it on our foreheads, cheeks, chins, and both the backs and palms of our hands. He was so kind looking, like Santa Claus. I was literally #blessed and I felt so good. I brought some home on an actual q-tip so I could bless the rest of my family with it (I didn’t steal it, churches actually leave the bowl of oil outside so people can take it home! And they ring bells so the whole neighborhood knows they can come get it as well. Isn’t that so cool?)

Anyways, I then cooked dinner with friends and went to school and made some progress on work before sleeping! This was a milestone day in my study abroad trip. For some reason, it feels like the end of one era and the start of another. Like I will look back on this semester ten years from now and remember this day. Sorry if this is a bit mundane. I just feel this really strong conviction to write a post about it.

 

LOST Edition: Eleonas Refugee Camp

Today was the first day that I volunteered at the Eleonas Refugee Camp, a refugee camp located in Athens. It can house 700 people, and it is currently running at maximum capacity with refugees from Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia–the list goes on and on. The camp is a mere 10 minute walk from the closest metro station, and as I walked in the growing dusk, I saw the Parthenon glowing brightly on the top of the Acropolis, illuminated by a thousand lights. The contrast was jarring. Tourists flocked to expensive and flashy attractions just a little distance away while refugees existed in a state of limbo in an isolated and dusty lot.

I was surprised to find that there was an open doorway to the camp–people could leave and enter as they pleased. Even while I was at the camp, a group of people left to who knows where, bundled in their clothes and carrying all their belongings. None of the refugees really stay in Greece–most people want to go north to Germany, France–to wealthier countries. Besides, Greece only allows refugees to legally stay for a maximum of 30 days. During those 30 days, refugees must decide their next course of action: seek asylum (which can be a tricky and long-winded process), hire lawyers to obtain rights to travel farther into Europe, or return to their home countries. Many people cannot afford to hire lawyers. So surprise, surprise–many trek onward illegally. It’s a bad system. But Greece itself isn’t in the best economic shape and chooses to turn a blind eye to the disappearing refugees.

The camp was smaller than I expected. We passed the little trailer houses, all lined up in rows, to a large tent dubbed the “Children’s Corner.” It was a barren and empty space with one broken table in the corner. How was I supposed to entertain these kids??? My imagination has literally been chewed into pieces by academia and spit onto the remains of my childhood.

As soon as we entered, kids came up to us and shook our hands, saying “Excuse me! Hello!” Thankfully, someone brought in a basketball, and the boys got into it, leaving the girls to watch at the side. After a few minutes, I realized I was too old and sad to play with the little boys. So I sat next to a girl who was watching the ball game. She said to me, “Farsi.” Welp. Using our hands, I found out she is 12 years old. We were both shy–language barriers are hard–and we had a very disjointed conversation. But when I pointed to the paper and markers we had brought, her face lit up.

The rest of the time, I helped supervise a group of children in drawing. There were some great artists in the bunch. Two girls made paper houses, complete with flowers and a mailbox sitting out front, and gave them to me. Home away from home.

All in all, I am thankful to have to opportunity to try and provide a safe and nurturing environment for these young children. I want to help bring a sense of normalcy to children whose lives have been nothing but turbulent. As I watched these kids in all their innocence and hope, I wondered if anyone would be able to turn them away once they have interacted with them. These children are beautiful. They deserve better. They deserve to live in a proper home with a proper school and they deserve to have fond childhood memories like I do.

Some of these children are too young to even comprehend the journey they are on. But perhaps, one day, they will fondly remember the games they played and the pictures they drew at Eleonas.

 

Corinth Edition: Dogs are Dangerous

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to go see Acrocorinth, the acropolis of ancient Corinth. Yes, that’s right! The subject of the letters Paul wrote to condemn the Corinthians for their many misdeeds. I’m not sure why, but that is very exciting for me.

The day started at 6:45 a.m. I woke up from 2.5 hours of sleep and felt cold and tired. But the train ride to Corinth was great; Greece is actually much more pleasant outside of Athens, in my opinion. It looks so peaceful and quiet, with orange and olive groves, small and spread out houses, and so much green–all of which is desperately non-existant in Athens, the city of loud cars and shades of grey.

Then started the walk. My parents would be displeased to hear that we walked along highways, but in my defense, Google Maps told me to and I generally trust Google (undoubtedly undeserved trust), and there were very few cars anyway. I willingly gave Google the benefit of doubt, but then it went and dashed it all.

We were walking along this pleasant hill that suspiciously seemed like private land. Specifically, a farm. However, Google told us to walk up it. So, of course, we did. We were surrounded by orange trees and all seemed well, and the world was bathed in the golden light of the Mediterranean sun. Suddenly, on the path before us, a black dog, perhaps a pitbull, appeared. My initial reaction was to be pleased, of course. I love dogs.

Even now, my memory of this incident is a blur. It happened in such a flurry and I still cannot comprehend the mixture of emotions I feel about it. But I shall go on and recount the tale.

The dog came running down,  growling and barking and looking like it wanted to eat me. More dogs appeared–a dozen or so–all looking very angry. They were surrounding us in an ancient dog-pack hunting formation and there was literally no where to hide. I was screaming at this point and half-running, half-walking, and everyone was like “Don’t run!!!! DON’T SHOW FEAR!!!!!” But I was at the end of the group, and I just knew one of them would bite a chunk of my leg out, so what else would I do. I tried to huddle with two of the other people so I wouldn’t be all alone with the dogs, but they wouldn’t let me in and left me to die. Later, I was told it was because they thought I was a dog.  I am slightly salty about this.

We were chased to the bottom of the hill by the crowd of angry dogs, and I am still surprised we all made it down. I will be writing an angry letter to the maker of Google Maps for almost leading me to an untimely death in the Greek countryside.

After that, everything went relatively smoothly, though we kept flinching at anything that could be a dog. We climbed a huge mountain, saw some beautiful views, slipped on some rocks, and walked a total of ~15 miles (the exact distance is very debated by the members of the group) and climbed a total of 180 stories. This is according to Apple’s Health app, though, and I don’t trust any corporation anymore, so this is probably wrong.

Missing Lunar New Year

Please ignore this post if you are not in the mood to hear me be whiny!

I’m still really salty I couldn’t do anything to celebrate Lunar New Year yesterday. I never really payed much attention to it but now that I’m abroad I feel so distant from it and that made me want to celebrate it even more. But I couldn’t even eat Asian food or talk to an Asian person (lol).

And all my classes are so, so Euro-centric and Greece-centric. Every lecture feels like I’m being taught that Greek civilization is the greatest thing since the beginning of humankind and that nothing has come close to its level of sophistication. Like literally, my professor said that it is a simple fact. I mean, it’s cool and all and kudos to the Greeks for making obsidian knives and big palaces but I kinda feel like maybe there were other people on the globe doing awesome things as well, you know?

I’m sorry, it seems like all my blog posts are very ranty-rants. I promise I will try harder next time to write a quality post that is less angsty.

update to crying

also i forgot but HONNE replied to me. When I got it I was so giddy that I couldn’t stop smiling and couldn’t fall asleep for another hour. It was basically like a personal invitation to their Berlin concert on 2/05 which I probably will not be able to make it to (that’s a whole nother story I spammed the heck out of everyone I know/don’t know to find someone to go with but i have no friends so what did i expect) and that’s a heartbreak in itself but I’ve been appeased knowing that HONNE found me worthy of replying to and I thank God every day for this blessing. I hope their concert is amazing and that they enjoy themselves and have a safe journey to and from it and can rest afterwards. I will be cheering them on from here.

Neighborhood Edition: Cats and Coffee

Mood: Change the World–Eric Clapton

So I live in Athens, Greece, in the neighborhood of Pangrati on the street of Eratosthenous. It’s a nice little place, but not quite in the center of things. It’s very close to the fun stuff–just not quite there. It’s okay, it tried.

It’s a family neighborhood, and there’s lots of little mini-marts, bakeries, and coffee shops. It’s really loud cause there’s an art museum being constructed and so many people ride motorcycles. There’s a huge farmer’s market as well, and I went and got so much fresh produce for cheap today–mushrooms (2 euros), a head of cabbage (.80 euros), three onions (.50 euros), 1 kilo of mandarin oranges (1 euro), and a loaf of bread (.80 euros). At least I won’t starve. With eggs and rice and garlic and yogurt, I’ll be set for the semester.

I particularly like the place called Poco-Poco, which is literally 10 steps from the apartment. It’s open 24 hours and has coffee, tea, crepes, American-ish food, and alcohol. I think it’ll be a nice place to study late at night, since it’s so close and I live in a double here. There’s also a bakery/sweets shop called Kekko’s, which makes really nice fresh-fruit smoothies. The owner also knows my name already and calls me “Kristina!” heh. I was also pleasantly surprised to find that a little mart had so much Asian food! Like soy sauce, non-brand sriracha, some ramen, different kinds of Asian noodles, rice vinegar, etc etc.

I really wanna make friends with these two barbers on the street. They have a really nice little shop that is all glass so you can see them all day. They seem like good friends, really comfortable with each other, and they’ve got this nice air to them. I bet they’re really nice. They also own two dogs that are always lying or sitting around in there while people get haircuts. I think it would be really nice to just talk to them and sit in their shop and watch them do their thing while playing with the dogs. Is it creepy that I observe them so closely? Am I just really lonely?

I’ve been trying to make friends with some cats here, too. There’s this white one in particular that seems to have a mustard seed of love within its heart, and I think that with some persistence (and maybe some food), it will come around eventually. Even today, it tried to high-five me aka bat my hand away.

I’ve been trying to keep myself busy. There hasn’t been too much to do, and while I thought I would enjoy that, it actually makes me more anxious and heavy for some reason. I love feeling like I ran so many errands and did so many things and went to so many places and talked to so many people. I guess I wasn’t made for the indulgent life. I need to find some interesting and rewarding things to do this semester, or I may simply spend my days cooped up in my slightly always-dark and kinda depressing room.

Please let me know if you have any suggestions on what I should fill my time with. Until next time, my lovely friends.

 

Journey Edition: LA –> ATHENS

Disclaimer–this was written two days ago.

Current Mood: The Bend—Real Estate, There’s No Place Like Home—HONNE

8 (?) hours left until I arrive in Frankfurt, Germany, and then onto Athens! I’ve been pretty productive on the plane so far. I had a really carb-heavy meal (pasta, bread roll, two bags of crackers, brownie) and don’t know how to feel about it exactly. I also had a coke and resisted a second serving. I’m trying to go the whole 12 hours without having to use the bathroom. I also watched two episodes of Parks and Rec, which I just CAN’T really get into. Everyone is a caricature! There is like 5 centimeters of depth to all the characters. I also lubricated my eyes with refreshing fluid for a few seconds while thinking of how heartbroken Tommy will be when I don’t come home today.

On the other hand, a cause for celebration! My wart has miraculously receded. I have no idea what’s going on, cause the treatment the doctor did yesterday—beetle extract that shrivels the wart up—doesn’t seem to be working. But it doesn’t hurt! It’s a miracle. I think it’s because I prayed last night and went to church today even when I was really sleepy. (Also I’m not sure if I should hide my wart from my new classmates in case they think I’m gross?)

Anyways, I hope this semester will be fun. My mother thinks I will hate it, but she can sometimes be Miss Debby-Downer. If she’s right, I guess I will probably either no longer update this blog at all or update it a lot with sad stories.

Until then, (the Greek word for bye that I currently do not know). Wow, I hope I survive.